Oh No!

And by "Oh No!" I'm referring to this article regarding Maria Sharapova sucking in bed. And not literally, which would be more "Oh Yes!" than "Oh no!"

It comes as no particular surprise that a very attractive girl sucks in bed. That happens quite frequently. Trust me, I know. My numerous sexual trysts with supermodels have taught me nothing, if not that. The disappointing, and quite frankly disgusting, part of the story is the revelation that the massive douchebag Adam Levine fornicated with the fine piece of woman that is Sharapova. When I remember that he also hooked up with Jessica Simpson my head asplodes.